IMMORTALIZED STILLICIDE or the frozen spit whose shape induced an epiphany like Kekulé’s.

As one of the most social orthodontists in Valencia, I can say with acuity that this voluble blog, whose dilating domain of discourse reflects the author's uncanny cultivation, will warm--like the vortex of a Brazilian whore against my pulsing member--the hearts of all who shall espy it. My vocation, lest you forget, is to perfect the human smile.

Saturday, December 31, 2005



Dear Faithful Readers,

Here's the latest update on the lawsuit. It really kills me to break character like this, but, anyway, I've been served papers by the Munz family's attorney. They're asking for a sizeable sum of money (more than my dad makes in a year--it's honestly ridiculous how screwed I am), claiming I "published false posts with malice, exposing D.M. to ridicule, and potentially harming his future political career." I'm so stressed. It's like this surreal nightmare. Anyway, I've been ordered to remove all of the Munz content, and I was advised by my lawyer to get rid of the Congdon and O.J. stuff too. I'll try to keep posting content, but if I don't, it's probably because of this legal shit. Also, if anyone still has any Munz comments on their blogs, PLEASE remove them immediately. Thanks for your support, and I hope to get back to writing soon.

Yours,

Immortalized

Thursday, December 29, 2005



OFFICIAL IMMORTALIZED RESPONSE TO NOTICE FROM MUNZ FAMILY LAWYER:

At sundown this evening, I was greeted at my front door by Tom Kehlman, a lawyer specializing in defamation of character lawsuits who happens to represent you, the family of Daniel Munz. Your claims are unwarranted, and I categorically deny the allegations that Mr. Munz a) does not reside and has never resided with me, and b) is not the author of material composed under his name within this very weblog.

Mr. Munz dropped out of Yale University last semester and moved to the Hollywood Hills. In exchange for his writing services rendered, I paid him a sum totaling, after taxes, 2.01 million U.S. dollars. He has and continues to post original material under his own name. Your attempt to clear his name by implicating me in such an outlandish charade is both unethical and unwise. I look forward to going to battle with you. And vanquishing you.

Yours,

Lester James
219 Beachwood Dr.
Los Angeles, CA 90068

Thursday, December 08, 2005



Dear Duane M. Kinbote,

I am writing this post on a Blackberry in the back of a van outside a casa della puta in Tijuana. I am with Esperanza. You've heard of her, right? In case you forgot, she's the whore who fucked you over for six million. The girl who just happened to come into your life right after I just happened to "get dumped" by Jenny.

I've engineered everything immemorial and forevermore. You have never been in control. In case you were wondering, I took 5.9 million and gave Esperanza the rest. She spent it on cocaine and is currently lying in the passanger seat and dead. Before she died, she gave me your user name and password. The blog is mine again. I'm back. Back to stare dead-on into the eyes of a world that has called me nothing and proclaim my arrival. Hello, world. It's me, Lester.

Friday, December 02, 2005

I am not George W. Bush. I can admit mistakes. Like the time I misspelled a word in an interoffice memorandum. Or the time I decided to wed a 19 year old Latina cocaine addict who chain-smokes cock and gets pregnant to nullify pre-nups and takes half of a man's fortune. Funny, huh? Hee hee. Hee. SIlly stuff, huh? Right? SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! GODDAMNIT TO HELL you FUCKING SPICWHORE WASTE OF DNA SHITRAG. My life is awash in a sea of putrid small fat lazy brown beany cuntjuice.

Toodles,

Dr. K


P.S.

My tubes must have been untied during the "heart surgery" in New Haven. Lester must have been responsible.

Any and all New Haven citizens, tell me where Lester is, and I will reward you handsomely.

Monday, November 28, 2005




I have some extraordinary news on this unseasonably warm near-December morn. I am to be married again! I don't think you readers can begin to understand how well, how uncannily well Esperanza is suited for me. Sure, she may not be high society, but she is in tune with my every whim. My favorite kind of food? Vietnamese. Hers? Vietnamese. She loves the New York Giants. I'm their number one fan. She is a skiing enthusiast. So am I. We share the same birthday! Her dad killed himself just like mine! She even said that having braces was one of the most important parts of her life! And all of this came pouring out of her before I could even tell her anything about myself. So it all has to be completely genuine. She is my soul mate. We will be wed in Las Vegas tonight! My lawyer has already drawn up the pre-nup. The only way Esperanza could possibly get my money is if we have a child, but my tubes have been tied for years!

In other news, my exploratory heart surgery at Yale/New Haven yesterday went extremely well. I thought I saw Lester near the E.R. But, alas, it must have been the morphine.

This website, I must say, has doubled in popularity since Lester's dismissal. It just goes to show the kind of material people really want. No one has time for the pseudo-literary pretentious ramblings of a house slave. They want sex. They want young. They want quick. They want cool. And they're getting it! And it ain't ever gonna stop! Have a great day, my friends! Work HARD! MAKE MONEY! LOVE LIFE!!!!

Saturday, November 26, 2005

u know, i wasjust thinking how i love the softness of a beautiful woman and the power and strength of a good man (the men have to be educated with a respectable career)!! PS I get especially HOTT for music industry guyz,professional athletes,models,etc.COME ON GUYZ YOU KNOW PEOPLE WHO ARE ABOUT SHIT,OR JUST LOOK LIKE THEY ARE ...LOL...SEXSTATIC27@AOL.COM tHE HOTTEST WOMEN... THE RICHEST MOST DELIcIOUS MEN ...MAINLY AND MOST IMPORTANT kEWL PEOPLE

the new king kong movie preview is online now! go to apple. they're the one's who make ipods. It's on their website.

Friday, November 25, 2005



Hola! OMG, I am so excited! So I'm Esperanza Vilchis. So I am from Rio. I'm like a model. I met Dr. Kinbote in this bathroom stall (it was snoing!) at CLub Element in Hollywood. Well, guess who lived in his guesthouse now! And he's leting me help him blog! I so won the contest. I'm like the new...what was that losers name...Lester! Yay! I'm suposed to add "humor." Okay, cool, every1 says I'm funny. Dr. K said you all really liked Lester, so I know I have to work extra extra hard! I'm gonna work it. Work it dirty. JK. So oh my god, did everyone eat thanksgivinfg dinner yesterday!? Okay, honestly, I ate so much I'm going to still be full by XMAS! LOL! K boys, time for me 2 go. Call me if u wanna talk. I'll come over 4 a little donation!

k bye.

XOXO

Esperanza

P.S. Tell me what you think of hair in the picture. I just died it black!!!!

Game Over, folks. I kicked Lester out of the guesthouse today. When I told him it was all over, he bit his own tongue until he began bleeding profusely. He proceeded to write in blood and on my white walls: "The most devastating part of writing "Jason Congdon" with my own blood is that it's not like I'm actually obsessed with him. I'm really just obsessed with the idea that someone could actually be as fixated on him as I pretend to b." He ran out of blood for the final "e," and declared he was content with the typo lest he lose consciousness from more blood loss.

Well, I am sorry you had to endure this peculiar faggotry that was Lester's blogging. This website was supposed to be about orthodontia. And the life of an incredibly social, well-heeled orthodontist. I envisioned writing about new procedures I'd pioneered, and the cars and women such pioneering enabled me to afford. I have as many Corvettes as limbs, in case any of you wondered. I've sampled women throughout the world, and I can say with authority that Brazilian pussy is the finest. It has a buttery aftertaste with a fine hint of syrupy cucumber. My life, of course, is the story of personal success, and this blog was supposed to chronicle that. Let me adjust my hand, here. My Rolex was banging against the keyboard. I gotta write a note about something. I'm going to write on the back of my Vail 2006 Skiing Season Pass. Actually, maybe I'll use that envelope my Laker Season Tickets came in. Or I could just write on that $50 bill on the floor. Well, there is no note, but you get the point, right? I'm 6"2". There's something to be said for being sized like that. Really forces you to look at the world anthropologically and realize what an alpha male you are. Anyway, I know Lester somehow linked this blog up with some Yalies. Way to pick a school only based on name, people.! I went to the University of Illinois and make $897,000 a year. Education means nothing. The only thing that matters is how high you end up. From what I hear, Yale girls are ugly as shit. But I do like my women young (though legal), so if anyone here knows a girl who's really into sex and rich men, please direct them my way. Tell them I'm a very tall example of natural selection at work with a shitload of money. I'd take them out to eat, show them a good time. The number of my brand new Motorola Razor is 310-788-9098.

Lester was supposed to be updating the site with news on my latest headgear patent application. I got the patent, but of course you didn't hear that from Lester. What a snake. Funny thing how a man walks into your life an African American and leaves a nigger. Needless to say, there will be some huge changes here at immortalized stillicide, whose name, by the way, refers to the concave liquid nitrogen based saliva modeling machine I thought up while staring at a patient's crystallizing spit during a Doctors Without Borders mission to straighten Eskimo teeth. My first patent. I was 28.

So I want this site to be more mainstream. I want more video, more pictures, less weird humor, more genuine fun. Anyone got any ideas, let me know. As long as it involves orthodonture and me, anything goes. I will be looking for a new partner, so those interested should apply. Lester unfortunately knows my username and password, so we might just start a new blog altogether if he begins hijacking. Anyway, it's a proud day in the Kinbote household. Daughter's got a brand new life ahead of her. Lester's a distant memory hitchhiking his way to Vegas last I heard. I appreciated this introduction. It was a pleasure to meet you, readers. And at such a momentous time in my life. It's not everyday you get to jettison a treemonkey.